“I was being a real snot about it and basically I said that ‘if you don’t do anything with me before midnight, I will understand that you don’t love me, don’t exist, and I’ll just go on with my life, go to hell, whatever, I didn’t care.’” Seemingly out of nowhere, a woman she didn’t even know ended up speaking words of life and encouragement to Christine, a sure sign that God had, indeed, heard her and continued to pursue her regardless of her emotional state.
Of course, God hadn’t forgotten about Christine and met her in the darkest moment of despair- the night she’d basically given Him an ultimatum. I was the biggest jerk ever, hanging out with the atheists, weed smokers and slackers. In Scripture it talks about the behaviors that grieve the Holy Spirit, so that’s exactly what I did. “I even started using His word against Him. “I was very mad at God,” Christine shares. Sadly, her portrait of what a father looked like was distorted because she felt like anyone who was ever close to her ended up leaving. Loose living, a preference for darker, depressing music, even a couple of attempts at taking her own life became the new normal. When that long relationship eventually soured, all the loss Christine felt came back with a vengeance, and before long, she’d all but given up on a relationship with God. Longing for love and acceptance, she found that in the arms of the wrong guy. In the midst of obeying her call to ministry, she was living a double life while experiencing college. Unfortunately, not even music could keep her from trouble once she entered her teen years. Basically whenever she couldn’t cope with what life threw at her, she found an oasis in song. Finding kindred spirits in Crystal Lewis and Jaci Velasquez, artists who were both bilingual like she was, Christine loved singing along with anything that came in a performance track and entered numerous singing contests. It was her bliss in the midst of the chaos, and Christine gave herself completely to it. And that’s precisely where music came in.
Not feeling entirely welcome in her new step family left her with a serious case of “orphan syndrome,” and Christine desperately longed for an escape. And when her mother eventually re-married, Christine also had a problem with the “new man” in her life. While Christine’s mother saw the move as an opportunity to “get out of the city” and start fresh, the new language and culture led to “a tornado of emotions” for the seven-year-old.
If losing her father wasn’t already difficult enough, Christine and her family also ended up relocating from New York to part of her family’s native Puerto Rico not long after. See, when Christine was only six-and-a-half, her father passed away after a long struggle with alcoholism, and the self-proclaimed “daddy’s girl” who shared his artistic tendencies, missed him like crazy. Trouble is, her heart wasn’t really in what- and Who-she was singing about in church, and underneath the pristine façade, she was lost and still struggling to make sense of her troubled past. But when you grow up in a home where church attendance-and service within its four walls- is a must, well, Christine not only knew the lingo but gave a convincing portrayal of what someone following God’s plan looks like.īlessed with a beautiful voice and plenty of charisma to boot, being on stage was a no-brainer for someone who loved music as much as Christine does. In fact, she was smack dab in the middle of a very rebellious season. Living the way she wanted the other six days of the week, Christine certainly looked the part while singing about Jesus and leading altar calls at her home church, but truth be told, she didn’t really know Him. Until she experienced her true encounter with redemption in 2003, Christine was admittedly just another Sunday morning Christian. From beginning to end, it’s clear that worship is her lifestyle, and proclaiming God’s goodness, faithfulness and grace is her top priority-pure and simple.įunny enough, that wasn’t always the case. While it takes a few conversations with some people to uncover their life’s true passion, it takes roughly thirty seconds when talking with worship leader Christine D’Clario.
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